The Four Ds

So lately I've been ruminating on why the things I want to do take me forever to get done and yet I end up playing on the internet all day long (which really is not as fun as it would seem). If I were to look at myself honestly I would have to say it is because I am lacking in one of the four Ds.

What are the four Ds? I think they are desire, drive, determination and discipline. At any given moment I am three of these but rarely do I get to that place of all four. Because discipline, she eludes me most often. And because she does, it leads to some other Ds that I don't like so much: disorganization, discord, disaster, defeat and depression.

This pesky thing I lack affects so many different areas of my life negatively. I like to be the fly by the seat of your pants kind of gal but really that's kind of hard to do when you've got a spouse, a toddler and a mortgage. I've got to get my act together.

So with that in mind I am actually putting tasks I need to accomplish on a calendar. A calendar has been my nemesis for as long as I can recall. My whole body tenses up just thinking about plotting out what should get done and when. I like options and to me, a set schedule has often looked like a loss of options and freedom and so I've resisted it at almost every turn.

The one exception is that I'm good about keeping to a schedule for my son because I know my dysfunction should not lead to his misfortune. So I've gotten to thinking why do I let this dysfunction lead to *MY* misfortune????? I'm tired of that and It is time to make the calendar my friend.

Today I put myself on a little timeline for this afternoon while my son naps. Of course I've gotten off track (It's my first day! cut me a little slack.) but thank goodness I have the chart because rather than being WAY off track, I am just a little off track and I cleverly left time in the schedule for such a thing to occur so that I can get back ON track.

For example, I allotted a certain amount of internet time and let me tell you when you only have 15 minutes you get a lot more selective about what you decide to do! I noted I don't have time to do as much dumb stuff which can only be to my benefit!

People who do things of significance don't do it without discipline. Martin Luther King Jr. had desire, drive and determination. But he also had the less flashy and equally important (heck, possibly more important) discipline to follow through with his plans and reach his goals. And because he had the four Ds, he made the 5th D possible. Dreaming. Dreaming big dreams that would become reality.

So all, wish me luck as I work out that last D and make the calendar my friend!